These are the Days

The nautical wheeler

2011-09-19T23:46:00.000+05:30

It's funny, but the more proficient we become at navigating the ship of our dreams, the more we leave the navigating to The Universe (and the smoother the sailing).

And vice versa -- the more we leave the navigating to The Universe, the more proficient we become.

I can trust The Universe to take care of tomorrow -- to give me unimagined orchards to harvest, new friends to laugh with, and spellbinding twists of fate -- when I take care of today!

If you do one thing today, do this...

2011-08-24T00:09:00.000+05:30

Go here

Read.

Thoughts on play

2011-08-02T13:03:00.001+05:30

It's all in our heads.

All right, it's been a little heavy around here lately, time for something lighter -- and after all, what's lighter than the idea of play?

NOT my idea of play, but maybe it's yours?

I was inspired by Gretchen Rubin's most recent happiness project post, in which she made a statement that caught my attention:

"Nothing is inherently fun."

It took me by surprise, but I think she is right! Not only is nothing inherently "bad" (just perhaps different from one's expectations, right?), really, nothing is inherently anything.

or, everything is inherently nothing.

(OR, perhaps I had better stop writing things like this before all of my AM caffeine has been absorbed -- but I hope that you get my drift.)

Play: then+now

So, given that we've established that fun is a completely subjective and internal concept, I thought it would be FUN (yes) to think about which activities I've thought of as pure fun -- both as a child, and today.

Childhood fun (for me!)

- Reading. Anything, but especially girly series fiction

- Dramatics. Actual classes or just practicing in my room

- Ordering my little sister around (Sorry S.)

- Typing on the computer

- Writing 'fortune telling' programs in BASIC

- Having friends over + writing stories together, holding madonna dance competitions, or just hanging out

not on the list? any sort of team sport: getting dirty; thrill rides; wandering around in the neighbourhood.

Adult fun

- Reading books

- Blogging

- Running, being active, hiking outdoors

- Getting to know people + watching people grow

- Shopping (for stationery, clothes, books, food, really anything)

- Planning things (parties, trips..)

- Reading blogs + magazines

- Pedicures + massages

- Seeing arty or character driven movies

- Trying new restaurants

- Drinking wine and having a great conversation

- Listening to music especially if I can sing along

not on the list? any sort of team sport--playing or watching; watching action movies; playing computer games; developing new recipes; photography...and plenty more!

I encourage you to play along and share your lists with me as well -- if it sounds fun for you that is!

The Life List

2011-07-26T23:51:00.011+05:30

1. Eat lunch with fifty people who inspire me before I turn 30.
2. Get a psychic reading done.
3. Become conversational in another language.
4. ~~Get married barefoot.~~
5. Undergo a series of reiki treatments.
6. ~~Go on a cruise.~~
7. Own a house.
8. Visit every continent.
9. Make every recipe from a single cookbook.
10. Hike the Grand Canyon.
11. Send someone flowers.
12. Take silly pictures in a photo booth.
13. Milk a cow.
14. Learn to swim.
15. Swim with dolphins.
16. Take one photograph each day for a year.
17. Explore a jungle.
18. Take a professional baking certification course.
19. Go backpacking for at least one month.
20. Ride a camel.
21. Give birth to or adopt a child.
22. Read 50 books in one year.

23. ~~Drive through a toll booth and pay for myself and the car behind me.~~

24. Walk on a glacier.
25. Visit a city whose name I have to learn to pronounce.
26. Send out a photo holiday card.
27. Buy something for each of my parents that they couldn't afford on their own.
28. Leave a INR 1000 tip for a breakfast waiter/waitress.
29. Watch the sunrise at the beach.
30. Regularly practice yoga for an entire year.
31. ~~Have a picnic.~~
32. Go to a major music festival.
33. Stay at a spa for an entire weekend.
34. Get a puppy.
35. Visit a different country once a year for five years.
36. Tour the White House.
37. Stand in a submarine.
38. Take a dance lesson.
39. ~~Go wine tasting.~~
40. Visit Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe.
41. Learn how to ski.
42. ~~Go white water rafting~~.
43. Travel alone.
44. Spend Christmas on a beach.
45. Buy the perfect little black dress.
46. ~~Go camping.~~
47. Make home made jam.
48. Have sex on a train.
49. ~~Ride a jet ski.~~
50. Go to the Olympics.
51. Stay out all night dancing.
52. Go on Safari in Africa.
53. Spend a month as a vegetarian.
54. Do volunteer work.
55. Hike a volcano.
56. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
57. ~~Fly a kite.~~
58. Write a personal manifesto.
59. Teach a class.
60. Wear snowshoes.
61. Have black & white boudoir style photos taken of myself.
62. Show up at the airport with my bag and passport- take the first international flight.
63. Learn to like sushi.
64. Watch 50 Oscar winning movies.
65. Tour a brewery and a ~~winery~~.
66. Stock my bathroom with incredible products for my entire body.
67. Visit a tea plantation.
68. Get drunk on a bus.
69. ~~Go sky diving in New Zealand.~~
70. Go on a silent retreat.
71. Try a ridiculously bizarre job for a week.

72. ~~Attend a food festival.~~

73. Live in an apartment/house with a hot tub.

74. Try acupuncture.

75. Learn to make donuts from scratch.

Restless peace

2011-04-13T23:16:00.000+05:30

This is a year of quiet restlessness. So far. A year where things have been pretty damn good for pretty much everything, and yet have always come accompanied with a fidgety restless discontentment. This is a year where joy has come aplenty, with some grief, but mostly, a lot of detachment. A lot of not feeling strongly enough. A lot of happy calm at the surface. And restlessness. I don't know if this is permanent, transient or non-existent (only in my head!). And disturbingly, the next thought that comes to my mind is, in a very Ravi Shastri-kinda way, I have a feeling that something's got to give here.

Whatever that means. :)

I like wondering every now and then of change. The whats, whys and hows. I like to pick up a lens and see things, places, and most of all myself through it to understand just a little better. You can call it a hobby. Searching for analogies and metaphors is another. One of the changes in me in the last year or two I hate the most is how my words don't flow out of me as much anymore as they could. Writing used to be a lot more effortless, and cathartic to me. It wasn't good writing, but it was brilliant clearing for mess inside my head. It sorta takes away the impact of many good changes. I so badly want to write. I want to write my book. I want to write cricket. I want to write poetry and fiction. I want to dole out crap on the back of my notebook again - not mere doodles. But it doesn't come out. Not enough. What's wrong? I feel joy, lots of peaceful joy, but not soul-stirring, teary-eyed happiness like I did, a few moments in life. Is there anything wrong?

Anyway, back to the restlessness. I wonder if I feel it more because I don't write about it enough. I wonder if it is just quarter-life crisis. I wonder if it's just hormonal over-thinking. :) But that's the sort of year it has been. Job satisfaction plummeting - the flaws in people so much more visible. Stress over not knowing the future was less than the confusion over my desire to not even try to know the future. And even now, disquietude. What am I doing with my life? Why have I never done enough crazy whimsical things like others? Am I too "safe"? Am I too boring? Am I deliberately not asking hard questions? Have I become too defensive, too non-confrontational. Am I scared of drama? Fatigued? Or is this drama still.

Why isn't peace enough?

And where the f**k are the words?

PS: At least, I still have unanswered questions.

Toss a coin!

2011-04-10T23:40:00.000+05:30

I love the above image and the message it gives. Because seriously, who hasn't been there? The second the choice is given to someone else, or you know, a coin--you gain the clarity you need to realize what you wanted all along. High-five Universe. And yes, that's as deep as I'm going to get on a Sunday night.

'Viratified'

2011-04-03T22:26:00.001+05:30

At 31 for 2... Sehwag and Sachin back in pavilion... chasing the total never been chased in world cup finals history... the odds were stacked against Team India...

India needed to chase that total. It was not only the World Champions title that was at stake, but it was whether next gen cricketers had it in them to see Team India through from that precarious situation...

and our next-gen did make an emphatic statement...

yes we are ready...

Without them performing the way they did, the World Champions title would have felt a bit hollow...at least to me.

The glorious tribute to Sachin was not only the World Cup title that was missing from his otherwise illustrious career, but the feeling that yes...the baton has been passed on to the right hands. The legacy is being carried forward...that even when some of the stalwarts will walk into the sunset, they will sleep peacefully, knowing very well that this team will keep going...to overhaul many more milestones.

And in the light I heard what Kohli, who played a crucial role in soothing the nerves in the middle, said after the World Cup triumph...

"Sachin carried the burden of the nation for 21 years, the least we could do was carry him."

Nothing more needs to be said. No cricketer has ever said anything better. Sachin stands 'Viratified'.

The End!

All is well.

A Date with Destiny--India are World Champions

2011-04-03T16:26:00.004+05:30

Many times, friends have asked me why I spent so much time obsessing over a game which did not directly benefit me. To use a friend's phrase, it did not 'put food on the table'. In fact, it affected my studies, work, tested relationships with close ones, and on a broader spectrum, decreased an entire nation's productivity. This game had the ability to influence the mood of a country and yet, at the end of the day, apart from benefiting those involved in the game directly, it would not change the common man's status for better or worse. So, why then care so much about this sport, or any sport for that matter?

April 02, 2011.

These are the moments why they matter...why we care...why entire nations can be lifted by sporting deeds performed by a few capable individuals. These are the moments why you can set your problems aside for a while and immerse yourself in a pastime which can give you as much joy, as it can give you heartbreak. These are the moments why sports exist.

The Winning Moment...

The men who won us the World Cup...

19 years...worth the wait...

The man behind the scenes...

The Future...

The man who made it all possible...

Appreciation for an outgoing legend...

History making 15...

A man who deserved to be in a World Cup winning team...

This is how much it matters to people on the street...

...on the streets of Delhi...

...Mumbai...

...and in Kolkata

Check out the final unforgettable moments...

So there it is...moments to cherish for the Indians who were born after 1983 and never experienced the joy of winning the World Cup. For once, TV channels will stop showing clips of Amarnath's last wicket in the 1983 final and replace it with Dhoni's winning shot!

Once again, Congratulations to Team India for a performance worthy of champions through the last few weeks; and to Sri Lanka and their magnificent cricketers for providing a tough fight. Not to forget--Ganguly, Kumble, Dravid, John Wright--who kickstarted the revival, and to Kirsten, Simons, Upton and the rest of the support staff for ensuring everything worked smoothly in the background.

Let the party continue!

"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a dream, a vision." --Muhammad Ali

The Cup has come home...

*All pictures are courtesy Cricinfo.

It's just another game!! Huh?

2011-03-30T00:05:00.002+05:30

All right. It's just a game!! The PM of one country calls the President of another to watch the match. It’s supposedly called cricket diplomacy. Manmohan Singh it seems doesn’t even really like the game. Yeah.. it's just another game.

One believes that MS Dhoni and his Indian team will take it only as another game. A game that India needs to win to continue pursuing their dream of winning this CWC 2011. India has moved on as a nation and a cricket team beyond the erstwhile short sighted Pakistan focus. Both have bigger battles to fight and are concentrating on longer term issues and rightfully so. A decade back it was always about measuring the country's and the team's performance vis a vis Pakistan. It isn't now. When Yuvi said after the Australia match that he had thought of beating the Aussies every day in the last one year and then his pretty understated statement on the upcoming Pak match, it wasn't diplomacy. It actually showed what this team's priorities are. Frankly, the priority is to be #1 in the World. And it’s not about just beating Pakistan.

One has been hearing of people talking about how Indians will never forgive the team for losing to Pakistan and it won’t matter if they lose in the finals. Will this Indian team think and put pressure on itself by thinking that way? From the public personae of Gary K and MSD, it doesn't seem likely. It's either rabid hate mongering or equally nauseating 'it's just another game' peacenicks that are writing/talking in the media.

What Manmohan Singh has done is to put enormous pressure on both teams with these silly diplomatic overtures that is far more than what those effigy burning, stone throwing idiots put. Imran Khan, for once was right when he claimed that it wouldn't impact anything at all. Why does one want to induce that added edge on players' of both the teams? It could have been just another match but once you actually go and mix politics in sport Dr. Singh, it doesn't remain that.

Whatever the result on Wednesday, I just hope that cricket does the talking and we can then get prepared for a tasty final in Mumbai next Saturday.

PS: I would encourage everyone to to have a good listen to the Official World Cup song--"De Ghuma Ke" by Shankar Ehasaan & Loy. At first this may appear slightly repetitive and annoying but the more you hear it (it's played in every single ad break), the more you'll love it. I have become very attached to it.

Keep the stream flowing

2011-03-27T22:50:00.000+05:30

I’m hardly one to blog immediately (if ever) about current events, it seems weird to have lived through the last few weeks as me and say that it hasn’t all been just a little overwhelming.

Being me isn’t relatively hard, of course, but over the last few weeks of this year, I’ve had to really think hard about what I want for my life. Which is not that different than other people, I understand. Many people of all ages have to tackle this, but there is still always that part of me nagging at me saying, “Really” At twenty-six this is your plan? This is your reality?” And I just have to step back, take a deep breath and say yes, yes it is.

Whether it is because of or in spite of the events that go on around you, at some point you have to either choose to ignore your instincts or get to know them closely and personally so much so that everything else fades to the background. While I cannot necessarily spell everything out here, I will say that making decisions that make others wonder, but meanwhile could very well be the thing that determines a trajectory for the rest of my life has been a very self-defining moment. I have this feeling in my gut that could be mistaken for nerves but that I know is much more than that.

It isn’t easy, it isn’t perfect, and it’s perhaps more frightening the further I get down the road, but it is also reassuring. I know right now, more than ever, that I am me. I am not everyone else. I have my own path, there is a plan just for me, and that I do not have these feelings and thoughts and dreams for no reason. While I’ve never really tried to convince anyone else I’m not crazy, what surprises me most is how much I’ve had to tell myself that about… well, myself.

So while I apologize at the vagueness here as it applies to my day-to-day life and plans, I also hope there’s a more prominent point. I hope that the idea that when YOU know what YOU are meant to be doing, when that feeling hits you and you research it and you practice it and you strive toward it, the moment comes when you realize it all happened because you trusted your instincts, your gut.

It must be independent from time lines, and ideals, and estimates of effort. It must be based on faith, opinions of a very select few (if even that), and a whole lot of willingness to do a lot of thinking, planning, and trying in the face of what may seem unreachable to anyone else.

I would never be so pompous to share something like this as advice, but a handful of times I have had someone tell me that something I did in my own life and then put on the Internet helped a person feel okay about their own instincts, and in turn that is something that always helps me. Whether we learn something for the first time, or are reminded of something we’ve always known, that stream should always be flowing.

Oh, Sigh!

2011-03-18T23:44:00.000+05:30

Days and nights had been just the same,

There is not a word I would not like to say.

Miles ahead are the shores I would reach

Sighing, I wait--to say it all your way.

Of trees, you say; Of birds, not a thing

Of pebbles, you say; Of ripples, you never may.

Of seas, you do and oceans, no not

Sighing, I wait--to see it all your way.

Sighing, I wait--to say, to see

I wait for a life, not mine ever to be.

Off I leave, off away-I fly

Out come my words, all mine--Oh, Sigh!

Picture Courtesy: Google Images

The King's Speech

2011-03-07T01:51:00.001+05:30

I don't usually review movies on this blog, but in this case I will make an exception. The King's Speech is an extraordinary movie. Inspiring. Lucid. Compelling. And extremely well acted. If you are looking for your "voice" in 2011, this movie is for you.

The fierce urgency of now

2011-03-07T00:00:00.000+05:30

These words absolutely challenge me:

We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity. The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood--it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, "Too late."

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is so much imperative work and grace-filled living that needs doing, and so much "busy" that gets in the way of the truly important.

An all time favourite afterthought

2011-03-02T22:30:00.000+05:30

"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."

If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.

'When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines upon you.'

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

The Universe Rocks!

2011-02-12T22:43:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wondered, why most people have less trouble with walking and not falling down, talking and making perfect sense, and breathing without stop, than they do with dieting, finding love, or getting rich?

Of course not, but it wouldn't be a bad idea.

It's because with walking, talking and breathing (which, incidentally, are infinitely more complex than the latter), they engage the magic with intent and expectation, twitch a few general muscles to get things started, and then, they turn the rest over to The Universe.

In the second group, they try to do it all by themselves.

The Universe rocks like that. I will rock too!

The Last Song

2011-02-02T23:10:00.003+05:30

The Agenda Effect

2011-02-02T16:14:00.002+05:30

It's week two of reading David Allen's book on groundbreaking work-life management system--'Getting Things Done'. One of the categories of Action lists David Allen recommends in Getting Things Done is “Agendas.” This is a great category for tracking items that you want to discuss with people or teams you meet with regularly. Your Agendas lists become a trusted parking lot for things to bring up the next time you have the opportunity to have a discussion. Many people will use Agendas for the staff they manage, and for the manager they report to. Agenda lists can also work well for family members and recurring team meetings.

Here's how I use them:

In the workplace, one of the best ways to distinguish yourself is by being effective. And, in this era of constant — and I mean CONSTANT — interruption, one of the best ways to be effective is to be strategic about how you communicate with others.

Humanity has been stricken with several email-related diseases over the past few years. Two in particular are insidious contributors to the interruptive environment.

The first is what I call “Forward-itis.” This affliction causes people to forward every email they receive without pulling out the important points, or thinking about who should really get them. These emails are often accompanied by the dreaded label, “FYI. Read below.”

A related, and often concurrent, condition called “High Priority Hyperbole” causes one to believe that every email they send deserves a few extra exclamation points.

These bad habits, combined with instant messages, texts, tweets, and meetings mean that we can get trapped in a near-constant state of reactivity. I mean, gosh, look at those exclamation points on that email! We really ought to respond quickly right?! Not always. It’s just not effective for us, or those around us.

Enter the Agenda

The agenda is one of the unsung power tools of GTD. With agendas, one captures everything they need to talk to a particular person (or group) about so that when we are in the presence of that person, we can remember all the things we need to say.

Why is this so powerful? In this age of ever-present interruptions, an agenda allows you to thoughtfully gather everything you need to say, which can greatly reduce the stress you place on yourself, and on the person you need to talk to. It’s really just a specialized form of a list — and we all know how great a good list can be.

Agendas at Work

Throughout the day, issues come up that I need to ask my boss about. Instead of bugging her about each one (in person or over email/instant messenger), I collect those items onto an agenda and — at least once a day — check in with her, run through my list, and move on. What’s important is that I don’t forget to talk to her about things because they’re all collected on an agenda. If our time gets cut short and I can’t get to something, it stays on the agenda until we have time to talk about it.

If something comes up that doesn’t require us to speak face-to-face, I can still use the idea of an agenda and gather topics into one email (instead of peppering her with 50 emails a day).

Another way I’ve implemented this agenda/list approach is by gathering all of a client’s “high-priority” emails and sending a single reply at the end of the day. This doesn’t always stop the tidal wave of exclamation point-riddled emails, but it can curb them a bit (and my client appreciates my organized approach to their barrage of emails). More importantly, it helped save my time, and my sanity.

On the flip side, as a manager I deeply appreciate the people who report to me who do the same. I feel like they respect my time, because they aren’t coming to my desk every 5 minutes with a new question. What they are telling me is that they can proactively manage both their time, and mine.

Dropping by someone’s office/desk every two minutes (or forwarding them an email at the same frequency) indicates an inability to manage oneself effectively. And a huge part of being an effective and noticeable employee is the ability to manage oneself.

So, agendas. Give ‘em a try. You may be surprised at the huge impact you’ll see with such a seemingly simple tool.

Tired

2011-01-28T22:37:00.000+05:30

Needs - too many. Desires - endless.

How much is too much? How much is enough?

Things have changed. Have they? How? Why?

Love? Attention? Companionship? Friendship? Which one is it? All of it? None of it?

Questions - too many. Restlessness - endless.

Weak. Very weak. Alone. Very alone. Crazy. Very crazy. Me. Very me.

2011-01-18T20:39:00.000+05:30

On the count of super-meanness leading to self sabotage...

...Guilty as charged.

Sometimes I'm such a jerk.

If

2011-01-12T16:51:00.001+05:30

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Now only 'if' we could bear these in mind when we need to...

Still Breathing

2010-12-16T23:40:00.002+05:30

I just heard the perfect song at the perfect time: Anna Nalick's Breathe. The song has always been one of my favourites and the lyrics really resonate with me.

'Caue you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

I had a long session with the boss one morning and she had an hourglass on the table. Flipping it over reminded me of the past; my grandparents had a large, heavy hourglass that I'd stare at as a child--always trying to catch that elusive last moment where the final grain of sand moved from the top to the bottom. But I would never see it, because I couldn't sit still for an entire hour, and so I'd leave and go play and hope to get back just in time to catch that moment--but I never did. And then the boss's hourglass reminded me of the elusive present--the sand kept moving--time kept passing. I turned it on its side, I stopped time, and I used the digital desk clock.

No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands. And breathe...just breathe.

Cradle. Not hold, or lay, or set, or put--cradle. Like a baby or a glass vase, like something valuable and precious and fragile. I sobbed myself to sleep on Wednesday and I kept telling myself, "Stop crying and fall asleep--you are going to be so tired tomorrow if you don't fall asleep. Fall asleep! Fall asleep!!" That clearly wasn't comforting. And then my inner therapist came out and told my sad self, "It's okay to cry. It is good to cry." I cradled myself.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel you shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.

My favourite metaphor is The Tunnel. I'm not so sure I get to emerge from The Tunnel. Everyone is talking about masters and jobs and marriage...there really is no destination.

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again. If you only try turning around.

And I keep making the mistake of looking towards a destination. No matter how many cute notepads I get with clever sayings about life being a journey, I keep thinking there is destination. There must be a destination. A glorious destination with hammocks and lemonade and lots and lots of yellow. This has been an exhausting year, a year where it has been hammered into me that my kitchy post-it's are true, that life is a journey--and even as I type this, I'm looking forward to 2011 hoping it will be the destination where I finally leave 2010, the year of learning that there is no destination.

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.

Writing makes me feel better. Thinking about what I'm going to write makes me feel better. Giving words to the roller-coaster of thoughts that bounce around in my head all day is cathartic and relaxing.

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd. Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them, however you want to.

And so I'm vulnerable here, with you, and I breathe.

Emotional bandwidth

2010-12-16T21:00:00.000+05:30

A mixed bag.
A load off the shoulders.
A job well done.
A day lived memorably.
And yet...a familiar numbness...twinges of pain, disappointment, joy and fatigue...and nothing.

Another big day. Another empty, stretched feeling at the end of it all.

Jeevan hai barf ki naiyya :)

2010-11-30T21:36:00.002+05:30

Naiyya pighle haule haule...
...chaahe hasle, chaahe role

Five Basic Factors for Happiness, According to Carl Jung

2010-11-28T20:21:00.000+05:30

Recently read a very interesting collection, C.G. Jung Speaking: Interviews and Encounters. In 1960, Jung was interviewed by journalist Gordon Young, who asked, "What do you consider to be more or less basic factors making for happiness in the human mind?" Jung answered:

"1. Good physical and mental health.
2. Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships.
3. The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature.
4. Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work.
5. A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life."

Jung also added, "All factors which are generally assumed to make for happiness can, under certain circumstances, produce the contrary. No matter how ideal your situation may be, it does not necessarily guarantee happiness."

Ithaka

2010-10-30T20:52:00.001+05:30

Came across this little, marvelous piece called Ithaka while randomly surfing blogs.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you're destined for.

But don't hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you're old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you've gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn't have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now...

A valuable learning, and such simple simple way of putting it...

Still

2010-07-29T21:56:00.000+05:30

“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.”

--D.H Lawrence

So this is what it's like

2010-07-23T23:47:00.002+05:30

It will start without you knowing it. It will creep up on you in tiny increments until there is no turning back. And you realize now it’s smart that it happens in tiny steps, because if you knew that it was going to happen, you’re not sure you would think yourself ready. You would find an excuse to dislike it, look for a way to prevent it.

One day your feelings will get hurt and instead of sending an angry email you will decide to sleep on it. You will say sorry first when it’s your fault, and you will mean it when you say it. You will wear more sunscreen and a little less sparkly eyeshadow. You find that you give as many handshakes as high fives. You will find that life suddenly begins to eat up your time and daily two hour phone calls about every detail of your best friends life no longer happen. All of a sudden not every lip gloss you own will be named after a berry. You will learn that sometimes people are better off not knowing, and you will be able to keep your secrets secret. You won’t apologize for leaving the party early, for not dating someone who uses large stacks of pornography as a nightstand or for things out of your control.

You will floss more.

When your friends talk of their houses, they are no longer referring to the ones their dad built. They own their own. They drive cars without rust, wear high heels without teetering and tell you they love you at times other than 3am. They will have offices and responsibilities and suddenly you will know that you can count on them to be there not just for the party, but for the funeral. They will not always know what to say, but they will know that they need to be there. And they will know that is enough.

Suddenly you will know more married people than not- and it doesn’t scare you.

You will find yourself a part of a club that you didn’t know existed. A club where people talk about 401k’s and wine and all the excellent television found on a Friday night. And at first you are reluctant to join the club, but you know you can’t go back. So you stay, not always knowing what to say or how you fit in but then you realize being here is less stressful, less dramatic. You find that you feel… relieved, happier to know that there is a life outside the world you knew. You realize this new group also talks about goals and the future and they say things like ‘when we do this’ not ‘if we can ever do this’- and that comforts you. They own plants that don’t die, ideas that are theirs.

But sometimes, you will feel wistful. The great stories of dancing all night and drinking will feel over. You will miss the late nights but can now recall the painful mornings. You will fondly remember spending all your money on shoes and clothes but now like the idea of a home and savings accounts. You will miss knowing every single detail of your closest friends lives, but then you realize, you are starting to learn the details of your own.

One day without realizing it, you will have become an adult.

How to Minimize Fear When Making a Major Career Shift

2010-07-22T21:29:00.008+05:30

It's almost two weeks into my new job. Liking it so far and hoping it continues to remain so. It's an all new world, a new kind of people, a whole new approach towards doing things. Still remember the feeling I had on the very first day...butterflies in the stomach will be an understatement. It was more of rats! There were questions bouncing in my head--What is it going to be like? Will I like it? Will I be able to cope with the change? Will I be able to convince people of my abilities? How much will I have to unlearn, relearn? Will I be able to do it and how soon?

I'm not so scared anymore. The confidence is intact. I guess everything does fall into place. All you need is a little faith in yourself and life. Also letting go of your fears. It might turn out to be everything you hoped for or nothing like it. But at least you would have travelled that path.

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The decision to make a major career change can trigger all kinds of nasty anxiety and ruthless paranoia. What if I fail? What if it’s nothing like what I’m expecting? What if I regret leaving my current gig? But, as we all know, you can’t live a fulfilling life if you waste your time and energy focusing on the “what ifs”. The more effective course of action is to focus on taking productive steps to minimize the fear that inevitably comes with any major career shift.

1. Self analyze

Take steps to understand your motivation for making this career shift. What about this new career appeals to you? What makes it feel like a smart move? How does this new career align with your values and long-term life goals? Spend some time thinking about the overall vision you have for your life and see where this new career falls into it. When you know that this career move is in line with your life as a whole, you’ll feel more secure in your decision.

Click here to read more

Love and a piano

2010-07-06T12:12:00.000+05:30

This engagement shoot completely moves me. Texas-based photographer, Clayton Austin, somehow captures magic with his lens, and through his words...

"I imagine that being in a relationship is like learning to play the piano, or any instrument for that matter. There is no sheet music for life. You hit a couple of notes and sometimes you get lucky and they actually sound pretty good together. But more often than not, you immediately forget everything that you just did, and in searching for the same sequence of notes, you actually stumble upon a completely different melody that is even better than the original. Such was the case with Anna and Tyler. After having fallen in love and then being separated for three years, it was a weekend in New York that taught them that sometimes, just sometimes, the second verse is better than the first."

{Images via Green Wedding Shoes}

Great Expectations

2010-06-26T19:50:00.000+05:30

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though chequered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." --Teddy Roosevelt

Lately I’ve heard a lot of talk about expectations. We’ve built the idea of them up into something so fabulous that the inevitable has happened – an ‘anti-expectation’ movement has started. It’s underground, growing and the person next to you has probably been recruited. (Beware!) People are finding it easier and easier to expect nothing. To make no claim to their wishes, no need to state their hopes- to refuse to verbalize what they want. In work, in relationships, with friends… when did expecting something become the unexpected course of action?

The term "I don’t expect…" has become a staple in our verbal diet. As in “I don’t expect him to call”, "I don’t expect anyone to understand", "I can’t expect you to help..". These tiny little sentences are cropping up like weeds and it’s ruining the view. I completely understand why we do this, God knows I’ve done it. It’s easier. It’s safer. It makes everyone feel a little bit ‘smarter’. If you never say you expect something, no one will know when you are disappointed. You can feel smug knowing that you never “put it out there”, there is no record of what you wanted, no way for anyone to know that you’ve been let down.

Which is a horrible idea.

Maybe it’s naive but I do expect things, and I want to expect things. I expect to get the job, that the guy to call, the relationship to work out. I choose to live my life believing that great acts will happen. It’s expecting people to be fabulous that makes me fabulous. Maybe the job will go to someone else, the guy will be a jerk, or the relationship won’t work out, but I know I will feel better for deciding it was worth it to hope for something great, and to say it out loud. Is it scary? Absolutely. But the alternative of saying nothing and living in “the grey twilight” is far more frightening.

Whether you say it to yourself while applying your glossy mascara, mouth opened (naturally), to a group of close friends over martinis that taste like rainbows, or to your mom at 11pm on the phone while you try to sort socks- admit that you expect big things because I’ve discovered, life is much more interesting when you do.

Besides, what is the point of pursuing anything if you are expecting nothing from it?

Hachiko

2010-05-26T18:49:00.001+05:30

Here is one movie adaptation which was nicely done. I read about it on the Internet and decided to watch it. Being a dog-lover I have always been into movies which featured dogs. Among my favorites are Beethoven, Marley and Me, and the Japanese movie, Quill.

Hachiko or Hachi is a remake of a Japanese film about a loyal dog who waits for his master at a railway station for 10 years, even after his master died of a heart attack. In this version, Richard Gere plays the role of the master, whose loyal dog accompanies him everyday to the station and waits for him by the time he comes back from work.

The story is based on the actual story of well-known dog in Japan named Hachiko. Hachiko was an Akita dog who accompanied his master, Professor Hidesaburo Ueno to and fro the Shibuya Station in Tokyo during the early 1920s. When his master died, Hachiko continued to wait for his master for 10 years in one of the exits of the station. This captivated much of the Japanese after a news article on Hachiko came out. Before he died, a group of people erected a statue for Hachiko at the station. The statue remains there up to now.

I'd suggest everyone should watch this movie at least once in his lifetime, regardless of the fact whether you are a dog lover or not. It gives you the greatest lesson in loyalty--how you should never forget somebody who has loved you and someone you have loved.

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

--Marley and Me

I like! You Like?

2010-05-23T14:17:00.001+05:30

(via: mixxpeakx)

Would love to have something like these headphones...

5 things you should know before dating a journalist

2010-05-23T14:01:00.001+05:30

Here’s a good read by Tom Chambers on journalists:

So, you’ve been eyeing that smart, attractive journalist you’re lucky enough to know personally. You’re intrigued. Your journalist is smart, funny, confident. Visions of Clark Kent taking off the glasses and ripping off his clothes to reveal a perfectly toned body in blue spandex coming to save you run through your head.

Who can blame you? Journalism is a sexy occupation.

But journalists aren’t like the bimbos you usually pick up at the bar. Nor are they the assholes you ladies continually fall for. No, journalists are different beings (which is why you’re attracted to them in the first place), and you should realize — before jumping in — that this isn’t going to be a run-of-the-mill, boring, lame relationship you’re used to.

We can figure things out. Understand, we’re paid to dig deep, find the secrets and wade through bullshit. We can pick up on subtleties, so what you think you are hiding from us won’t be hidden for long. Sure, we’ll act surprised when you eventually tell us you starred in German porn as a freshman in college — but we already knew.
At some point, you will be a topic. Either through a feature story or an opinion column, something you do or say will be a subject. Get over it. Consider it a compliment, even if we’re arguing against you in print.
Yes, we think we’re smarter than you. In fact, we know it. Does that smack of ego? Absolutely — but that confidence is what makes your heart go pitter-patter.
You’re not less important than the job — the job is just more important than anything else. One doesn’t become a journalist to sit in an office from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday.
You won’t be disappointed. Journalists are intense, driven, passionate folk. We carry those same attributes into our relationships, making it an extremely fun ride well worth the price of admission. Our lives are never boring and each day is different.

If you want to read the whole article, click on the title!

Movie list

2010-05-10T03:17:00.003+05:30

I'm a complete movie buff. There is simply no denying that. But off late, I've realized not having watched a lot of UNMISSABLE and essential movies. I feel like dying when someone asks me "Oh have you seen that movie?" and I haven't (sometimes not even heard of it...eesh). So here's an attempt to draw a list 'Movies-To-Be-Watched-Before-I-Die'. And these will be movies from across the globe and across genres. Obviously, this list shouldn't be considered exhaustive. I will keep coming back to it and updating it (I'm not dying in the next couple of months or years...hopefully).

Here we go...

Big Fish
Dr. Strangelove
Almost Famous
Fight Club
Trainspotting
2001: A space odyssey
Sin City
The Village
Moon
Pink Floyd: The Wall
Dazed and Confused
1984
The Godfather Trilogy
American Beauty
Shallow Grave
A Life Less Ordinary
Millions
No Country For Old Men
Burn After Reading

The Lord of the Rings trilogy

Saving Private Ryan

Schindler's List

The Silence of the Lambs

Some Like it Hot

To Kill a Mockingbird
The World of Apu

Of these, I have seen American Beauty...but that was long long back. And I have The Bicycle Thief on my laptop. So I guess I'll start with that.

Anyone who share same interests as mine, feel free to comment, or you could also suggest some movies that I should watch before I die. Enjoy!

All that matters...

2010-05-10T00:41:00.001+05:30

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

PMS...redefined!

2010-05-08T17:23:00.000+05:30

Jonah Miller: Mom says its because she has PMS.
Steve Miller: Do you even know what PMS is, Jonah ?
Jonah Miller: Of course I do dad, I'm not a little kid anymore. It's the Pissed At Men Syndrome.

*From The Last Song

Just hit delete

2010-05-07T03:28:00.003+05:30

As someone who spends most of her day in the company of her computer, there is one function that a computer has that I have always respected. Very basic, but very very useful. That function my friends, is delete.

My computer deletes without feeling, without debate. It asks me only once if I am sure, and then it does the job. It doesn’t ask me “Do you think you will regret deleting this file?”, “are you sure this isn’t a mistake?” or “Isn’t this the best copy you’ve made, shouldn’t you keep it?”, my computer coolly and objectively deletes with one swift swipe of the enter key. There are no tears, long conversations anazlying the matter, or sleepless nights. My computer just deletes and moves on.

I’ve never been really good at deleting anything. I still have my first baby tooth, my class president badge from grade 2 and my first few story books. I have kept phonebooks with numbers I would never call, pictures of people I don’t remember. Deleting possessions, removing them from my cluttered life has never been my strong suit.

I'm sure people are even worse.

The ability to delete has become one of interest only recently. I had always accepted that I was unable to delete, to remove, to erase people in my life. How could I possibly find the boldness to do that? After all, these were people I had cared about, lusted after, even loved.

Why is there a need to delete at all? We often find ourselves in a position where our lives were better for it. I don’t mean to be one-dimensional, but we entertain people in our lives who make our lives better, once someone fails to do that, or prevents you from making your own life better, you should start eyeing the delete button. That is not to say that once you hit ‘delete’ and decide to move on that you will forget about the person, it’s just that you will erase their file and gain some free storage to create something new. You will remember what you wrote, you just won’t have a copy to hold on to.

Do I have people that I should delete? Absolutely. People who are long since gone who I allow to influence my descisions, to affect my mood and cause me to question things that can no longer be answered? Yes. Have I deleted these people? No. But I’m going to. Today. Because a girl can drive herself crazy trying to hold on to something that she doesn’t really have. And after a few sleepless nights and hunting for breath, I’ve realized I’m better than staring at my computer screen and wondering what to do next. So for now, I will push the delete button, take a deep breath and reboot.

It’s going to be an interesting summer.

Fields of Gold

2010-05-03T00:44:00.001+05:30

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold

So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Among the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
As you lie in fields of gold

Heard this song by Eva Cassidy today...accidentally! I was so overwhelmed. It was as if I simply floated away into a vast sea of sunny bliss. Kept listening to it over and over again. Beautiful lyrics.

The song was originally written and recorded by Sting who had purchased a house near a barley field. The sunsets, the colors, and his love at the time were his lyrical inspiration. It's a chronological story of a man's courtship, marriage, and eventual death.

Eva's version touches me a little bit more, only because she has since passed away and her voice is like an angel singing me to sleep. You can listen here. Please enjoy :)

Love Love, hate Love, can't do without Love

2010-05-02T16:31:00.002+05:30

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

--Neil Gaiman

On my mind: blog posting frequency and promises to myself

2010-05-02T14:41:00.005+05:30

I think this is the third time I've revamped this blog and promised to post consistently. Somehow, I've always failed for whatever reason. I'm hoping it won't be the same this time [what's life without having faith in yourself no?!]

Before I started this blog (yes, for the third time), I had set some rules for myself:

I would write in my own authentic voice and not in some voice or style I think people might like better.
I would post consistently just twice a week (no set days though)

The first rule was so that I would learn to trust my own instincts, which is hard for me, and the second rule was that, given that I have a demanding full-time job that makes me work on weekends also, the fact that I'm lazy and also that I have the tendency to start something with a lot of energy but not follow it up (I wonder if I have ADD), I don't want to get obsessed about this blog and forget other things which I'm capable of doing, I knew that posting more than that won't work for me.

The reality is, there’s simply no way I can post 4-5 times per week. I’d go crazy, put out crappy content, burn out and quit completely. And I don’t want to do that.

The secret: Posting twice a week also terrifies me. So, I need to put my Big Girl Panties on and honour the promises I make to myself, even if it terrifies me.

Let's see if I can do this.

PS: In other news, I have a new pet at home...a temporary one though. It's a parrot. Tries to talk. No clear words, just mumbling something and usually screaming. Will set it free once it's capable of flying (found it somewhere..hurt and couldn't fly). The idea of a caged bird makes me uncomfortable. Not being pseudo animal/bird lover.

The only label that never goes out of style

2009-11-07T23:48:00.000+05:30

Carrie Bradshaw said...

"Some labels are best left in the closet. And we were dressed from head to toe in love… the only label that never goes out of style."

2009-10-03T10:55:00.003+05:30

My candle burns at both ends;

It will not last the night;

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends

It gives a lovely light.

*Chumma!!!

2009-09-24T22:54:00.000+05:30

It's part laziness and part lack of time that I haven't blogged for quite sometime now. There's nothing much that drives me to thinking right now. Which is good in a way..just letting it be.

Just realised how September is almost over and October is just round the corner. It's birthday time! :) Making lots of promises to myself, so really looking forward to 'MY' new year.

Isn't it funny, how the last few months of the year pass more quickly than the first half of the year...wonder why? I guess, the last part of the year brings lots of good things and keeps you busy. It's the start of the long festive season. Then there's a family wedding this time. Birthdays and anniversaries. Sister will be home in December. Looking forward to a holiday with her. Christmas. A new year! Warm winter sun...ah I love that last bit especially.

*Chumma=Simply

Discover the joy of running

2009-09-14T23:05:00.002+05:30

Okay so I registered for the Great Delhi Marathon today! Actually, I wasn't even aware of when it's happening. A friend insisted, and I thought why not?! It's been a long long time since I've challenged myself physically.

This isn't my first marathon run though. The first time was in school in the VIII standard. Then, it was called the 'Samsung Delhi Half Marathon.' I still remember the oversized t-shirt that I had got as a participatory prize. It was fun.

So, what's so great about running a marathon? Many people say it's the joy of running. I'm not too sure about it right now. I still am to experience that. But yes, I feel it's great coz of the feeling of doing something together. Everyone running for the same goal. And you might not want to race or anything, but it's just being on your feet, with a single thing in mind, focussing all you energy towards one thing--Running. It's about challenging yourself and discovering your ability which you might not have otherwise realised. To me personally, physical exertion is healing.

This time I'm really looking forward to it--being on the road, testing my endurance, running, running with old friends. I'm excited and a lil nervous too. My goal will be to finish within the qualifying time and just soak in the spirit. I'm hoping to run more races post this one. Maybe next year I can run the 21 km marathon (I can dream).

Woohoo, I'm going to be a runner!

PS: It's on the 1 Nov, 09. It's a Sunday...the weather mostly will be nice. Everyone should run. If for nothing else, run to give company. It'll be exciting to run with whoever you want to run with. Register yourself now!

When you can live forever, what do you live for?

2009-09-12T23:53:00.000+05:30

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," he murmered.

I looked away, hiding my eyes as I was thrilled to the word.

"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.

"What a sick, masochistic lion."

Happiness and Fulfillment

2009-09-11T00:06:00.001+05:30

“Who says we want what we think we want? We want what we think we are supposed to want. Like what the books tell us to want and the movies. That's what I wanted. Happy. Happy, happy, happy - we didn't get that. That's the end of that. OK? It's not the end of us. It's the end of a dream, that's all. You wake up in the morning, the dream's over, so what? We're still here.”

--Russell Crowe, Breaking Up

A hard day's work...

2009-09-09T22:22:00.001+05:30

I can't remember the last time when I came back home from work really really tired. Must be long back. So long back that I had almost started feeling that I actually run away from too much work. That I've lost my dedication and commitment, so to say. There was self-doubt.

I've been swamped with work in the past two days. So occupied that I didn't really get the time to take a look at facebook, or chat and I just tweeted twice or thrice. I'm saying this coz usually, I often manage to do such things at work. Also, I felt less irritated at work. There were moments when I got genuinely excited about what I was doing. I did not wait to get back home. This is an achievement and I need to reflect on what made the difference. As they say, maybe these are my 'good days.'

Last two days at work have been very tiring. I've worked beyond my shifts and delivered everything on or before deadline, despite the gliches. And with a special touch of 'me'. It's been two fruitful and supremely satisfying days. I feel happy coz I can once again proudly say that work makes me happy. I feel at peace with myself. My friends and many others may look at this in a different light or may not agree, but I've always maintained that if my work life is fine, I'm good...to a large extent. A hard day's work makes me happy and I feel satisfied. And I usually don't wait for a word of praise (if there's one, it's a bonus). I go ahead and give myself a pat on the back...figuratively!

I'm reminded of something an older and wiser friend had once told me...long back when I had just started working...

"Look at the day when you are supremely satisfied. It's not the day when you've had nothing to do. But when you've got lots to do and you've done it all."

I feel stronger!

Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stagnating and waiting

2009-09-08T23:23:00.000+05:30

The sun just slipped it's note below my door
And I can't hide beneath my sheets
I've read the words before so now I know
Time has come again for me

And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend

Another day that I can't find my head
My feet don't look like they're my own
I'll try and find the floor below to stand
I hope I reach it once again

And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend

Oh...

So many times i've wondered where i've gone
And how i found my way back in
I look around awhile for something lost
Maybe i'll find it in the end

And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend

Feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
No matter how much I pretend

Would you rather lose your wallet or your cellphone?

2009-09-08T20:40:00.001+05:30

Back then, when Zack Morris had his huge antenna bearing cell phone, who would have guessed that cell phones would become an accessory so many people couldn't live without. Our addiction to keeping our mobiles close goes beyond a predictable level of obsession.

According to a recent poll spanning 11 countries from market research firm Synovate, more people would rather lose their wallets than their cell phones, and one in four respondents foresaw a greater challenge in replacing the mobile than their purses.

What's the lesser evil in your opinion: losing your wallet or cell phone?

Informer | Final Logout

2009-09-07T19:58:00.001+05:30

Not to sound morbid or anything, but have you ever wondered what will happen to your web-life after you die? Your emails, high scores, blogs etc...

Those who spend ages playing games such as World of Warcraft or contributing to an Internet community worry about this. One man from Ohio gave his son a USB key with details of all those he had to notify in the event of his death, including online groups.

Websites have sprung up providing a similar service. One site, www.deathswitch.com, will automatically send emails to all your contacts if you don't check in during a specified period. At deathswitch, they call it 'information insurance'.

If that sounds macabre, there's www.slightlymorbid.com. This also sends emails when a member dies, but only when a trusted friend uses a password to start the process. Either way, I suppose it's reassuring to know all your contacts will be informed should you shut down permanently.

Yes, getting an email death notification is rather impersonal, but since we all have such evolved online lives these days, why not?!

*Cosmopolitan

Weekend adventure: Delhi Book Fair, 09

2009-09-06T18:49:00.005+05:30

Finally managed to get there!! Picked up six books for myself, few for others. Some really cool stationary too. Got some great deals. I'm happy!! :)

My picks...

Lovers & Players by Jackie Collins

The Princess Diaries (the last book in the series) by Meg Cabot

I Do But I Don't by Kamy Wicoff

Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates

Indian Summer by Alex Von Tunzelmann

I really shouldn't be entering a bookstore for at least next four months.

***I need a reading room...are you listening?!

Photo: Jayam Bansal

Room to read...I want

2009-09-05T21:27:00.004+05:30

Mark Twain had said : " In a good bookroom, you feel in some way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books--through your skin, without even opening them."

Well, the idea of having a separate room, for reading only, is not as far fetched as it might seem at first. I feel it gives and order to your passion--for reading books.

And technically speaking, if you consider the ideal conditions for storing books, and the conditions typically considered as most comfortable and pleasant for reading or working with books, you'll find striking differences. Ideally, books should be stored in places that have little natural light and low humidity. But reading is something that most people enjoy doing in natural light. Personally, I really like an open air or at least an open window.

Therefore, I feel it is not such a bad idea to have a small room that is specifically designed as a reading room (if your financial situation permits.) Some comfortable furniture, a window to allow just the right amount of natural light, well planned sources of artificial light, a bookcase to store the books and perhaps a desk, and your very own home library is all set.

For me, I wouldn't think twice if I have the space. An almost perfect reading room for me will be this...

It's a very warm and cozy design. Elegant and minimalist too. And I hope the cat comes with it! The sofa is just right with a settee to stretch my legs on. The colour is warm. I like the bookcase with glass panels. It lends a modern look. The whole place has a very leisurely appeal to it and I like it that ways. I can almost imagine myself on that sofa with some jazz playing in the background. I'm dreamy!

Considering reading books is something that I do a lot, something that gives me a lot of pleasure, I certainly wouldn't compromise on this aspect whenever I have to move from my present abode (you get what I'm trying to say, right?) I don't think I'm being too demanding considering US President Thomas Jefferson had three home libraries in his lifetime.

Jefferson was indeed an obsessive book collector. "I can't live without books", he had declared once to his friend. His first collection of books was destroyed when his family home burned down in 1770. Jefferson wrote to a friend that he would have felt less grief to lose the money he had spent on those books than he did losing the books themselves [source: Monticello].

When the library of Congress was destroyed in the War of 1812, Jefferson sold his second collection of about 6,000 books to the federal library [source: Library of Congress]. Jefferson's library was considered the finest in the country, and his collection doubled the holdings of the Library of Congress. Still, Jefferson didn't let the shelves at Monticello sit empty. By the time he died 11 years later, he had more than 2,000 volumes in his library [source: Stanton].

Thomas Jefferson's library at his home, Monticello.

Photo by: Alex Wong / Getty Images

Jefferson's library might look an old-fashioned library with heavy leather bound books, dark wood and uncomfortable furniture. But home libraries can be a dynamic expression of the owner's personality.

Where would you want to read?

Happy Teachers Day!!

2009-09-05T12:52:00.004+05:30

School life is reminiscent of wild pranks, homework, and detention. However, an important aspect of school life (or should I say study life) was our relationship with teachers. We've all had our share of lovable and hate-worthy teachers. Some teachers inspired us while some brought out our wicked side. Also how we often took a liking to a particular subject simply because we loved the person who taught that subject. Needless to say, we also disliked certain subjects when we disliked their teacher

Despite the fact that I never stuck to a school for more that 3-4 years at a stretch (until I finally moved back to Delhi), I've been fortunate enough to have teachers who I still fondly remember for who they were and what they helped me become.

But today when I think of Teachers Day, it's not just my school or college teachers that come to mind. Today, I'm looking at the 'big picture'. I'm reminded of lines from a book by Mitch Albom--Tuesdays with Morrie--especially because my feelings at this point in life are very similar to what Mitch Albom talks about in his book.

Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.

Maybe you lost track of this mentor as you made your way, and the insights faded, and the world seemed colder. Wouldn't you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you, receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger?

I guess, the lines above say it all. I'd love to go back, revisit those people in my life. I'm not sure if I can do that, or if I manage to, will they even remember me.

In my own way, today, I'd like to thank them all for imparting me good education, directing me, inspiring me and shaping my thoughts.

You will always be fondly remembered!

Mrs Fernandez, Sister Victoria, Ms Dina, Sonica Ma'am, Suman Ma'am, JT Sir and MSG...A very Happy Teachers Day to you! God bless...

Pictures from an old school...Holy Child, Guwahati

Classroom: IV-A

Corridor, Middle school

Playground, Junior school

Dalai Latte

2009-09-03T21:39:00.000+05:30

A "Dalai Latte" named after exiled Tibetan spiritual leader The Dalai Lama is prepared inside the hotel where he is staying in Kaohsiung, southern Taiwan.
September 2, 2009

--A Reuters photo

Come September

2009-09-01T22:55:00.002+05:30

September-If I could keep the promises I make to myself

If You Could See Me Now...

2009-09-01T22:28:00.002+05:30

Off late, I've been reading a lot of chick-lit (so they say). And while it may seem to be 'not-so-intelligent' to a lot many readers, I feel there's so much in it that you can actually relate to. Have read a couple of Indian authors but there is no other author that touches my heart the way Cecelia Ahern does. I've read three of her books already--P.S. I Love You, The Gift and If you could see me now--and am now on the fourth...Where Rainbows End. Each book is better than the last one I read. I almost wait for the time when I can tug myself in my bed with the book. And even though the book is a simple read, I really take my time to read every word, every paragraph, every page...almost savour evey word.

That's true for all of Ahern's books. I always wish I can remember paragraphs by heart...they are just so brilliant. I've now started noting them down (no it doesn't take the fun away from reading).

Sometimes I feel Cecelia writes specially for me--what she writes, it just feels spot on. Cecelia’s books are exactly what I look for in a read, something to relate to but in a whole new world that I can escape in and get happiness from.

So in the spirit of moving writing, I have conjured up my top three quotes from Cecelia's If You Could See Me Now. If this doesn't make you read the book, then I don't know what will!!

First there's the thought provoking:

‘You know, it’s interesting,’ he learned forward again, ‘children learn much more, far more quickly than adults. Do you know why that is?’

Elizabeth assumed there was some scientific explanation for it, but she shook her head.

‘Because they’re open-minded. Because they want to know and they want to learn. Adults,’ he shook his head sadly, ‘think they know it all. They grow up and forget so easily and instead of opening their minds and developing they choose what to believe and what not to believe. You can’t make a choice on things like that: you either believe or you don’t. That’s why their learning is slower. They are more cynical, they lose faith and they only demand to know things that will help them get by day by day. They’ve no interest in the extras. But Elizabeth,’ he said, his voice a loud whisper, and Elizabeth shivered as goose pimples rose on her arms. She felt as if he was sharing the world’s greatest secret with her. She moved her head closer. ‘It’s the extras that make life.’

Next are words that make your heart feel like a sponge that's squeezed:

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think as it’s so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there is a noise, it’s internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That’s what it looks like and that’s what it sounds like, a trashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that’s the thing about love – no one is untouchable.

And lastly, it's the one that makes me go 'aww', a truly heart warming passage:

I always look on the positive side of things. I always say that with every cloud there’s a silver lining but, the truth be told – and I’m a firm believer of the truth – for a while I was struggling with my experience of Elizabeth. I couldn’t figure out what I had won, all I could see that my losing her was one big black stormy cloud. But then I realised that, as every day went by and I thought about her every second and smiled, I knew that meeting her, knowing her and above all loving her was the biggest silver lining of all.

I'm going to finish Where Rainbows End pretty soon...Will post some really heart warming and inspiring quotes from that too.

Thanks for the books Cecelia! :)

Green!

2009-09-01T20:57:00.001+05:30

Well, my first post here, talked about my affinity to the colour 'pink' and about 'feeling pink'. I still love pink but now, I prefer green more. After all, green is not a colour, it is a state of mind...

2009-05-31T23:57:00.000+05:30

GMAT classes start coming weekend...time for slogging begins...
But after a very long time, there's something I'm really looking forward to...

Nation's ink...

2009-05-07T20:36:00.001+05:30

Rock the vote!

2009-05-06T22:07:00.000+05:30

Casting my first ever vote tomorrow morning. Don't know how much difference it will make, but I'm quite excited. I think I almost know who I'm voting for. Will post a pic of the inked finger (middle finger? nah) and the chit with my polling number. It's crazy...have to get up really early tomorrow. First vote, then go to work. Sigh.

10 Things I Hate About You, Shakespeare & Heath Ledger

2009-04-11T21:30:00.002+05:30

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Watched '10 Things I Hate About You' today on Star Movies. I wouldn't say it's an outstanding movie, but ya, just the kind that would work for me now. A happy, sad, romantic movie...the kind that makes me smile and also makes me cry. Heath Ledger playing Patrick in the movie was simply too good. Can't believe the guy is no more...sigh!
Half way through the movie I realised it was an adaptation of one of Shakespeare's greatest plays...Taming of the Shrew. I'm sure many of us take Shakespeare's plays too seriously. So, it's great that a lot of them have been adapted, updated, spoofed, and re-told versions...so that they could be understood by the general public in a more basic way. Here's a list of some of them...

13 Versions of Shakespeare: Adapted, Updated, Spoofed, and Retold

1. My Own Private Idaho (Henry IV/Henry V) - This film has themes from both Henry IV and Henry V, but doesn’t follow the plays very closely. A young man hangs around with company that his family wouldn’t approve of, but then takes on responsibility when the time comes. Yes, that is a very simplified version, but there you are. It features Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix and won eight awards. (Movie Trailer) (hold a copy)

2. The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theater: The Scottish Play (MacBeth)
(Watch Part 1) (Watch Part 2)

3. West Side Story (Romeo and Juliet) - This is perhaps the best known updated version of Shakespeare. Most folks know that it’s a version of Romeo and Juliet.
(Movie Trailer) (hold a copy)

4. ShakespearRe-Told: Much Ado About Nothing - A few years back the BBC decided to update and retell four of Shakespeare’s plays. This version of Much Ado About Nothing takes place in a TV Studio. Billie Piper plays Hero, the Weather Girl. Beatrice and Benedick are a pair of bickering co-anchors. As they say, hijinks ensue. (The series commercial)

5. Animaniacs: Hamlet - Animaniacs was an animated TV show that often had fun with literary themes. They even did a version of Les Miserables (Les Miseranimals) at one point. Shakespeare appears in the opening title sequence for the show, by the way. In the linked video, they perform the “Alas, Poor Yorick” speech with modern translation. Sort of. (Watch it)

6. Forbidden Planet (The Tempest) - This futuristic version of The Tempest features Leslie Nielsen as the leading man and the first appearance of Robby the Robot. It’s a SciFi classic…that Gene Roddenberry, father of the Star Trek franchise, adored. If you love SciFi and/or Shakespeare you should give it a try. There is also a Musical out there called Return to the Forbidden Planet. Basically, it consists of the plot from the movie, a bunch of 1950s/1960s musical numbers, and lots of Shakespearian dialog. Here is a clip to give you an idea of what I’m talking about.
(Movie Trailer) (hold a copy)

7. 10 Things I Hate About You (Taming of the Shrew) - I really enjoyed this. There's a poem that Katrina Stratford (played by Julia Stiles) reads towards the end of the film. Ahh...it's done something to me. Plus, Heath Ledger singing 'Can't take my eyes off of you' is to die for. (Movie Trailer) (hold a copy)

8. Reduced Shakespeare Company: Romeo and Juliet - Are you familiar with the Reduced Shakespeare Company? If you can get a hold of a copy of their DVD The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged), be sure to give it a try. Impressive.
(Watch Part 1) (Watch Part 2) (hold a copy)

9. Scotland, Pa. (MacBeth) - Well…it’s MacBeth at a hamburger stand with Christopher Walken as Lieutenant McDuff. Yeah. Apparently it got great reviews. Has anyone out there seen this one? (The film on YouTube)

10. O (Othello) - This is another of the Shakespeare adaptations starring Julia Stiles. It’s Othello set in a High School, with “Odin” as a star basketball player dating “Desi.” I’ve only seen the trailer, but wow it looks dark. I’m actually not that big a fan of Othello in the first place. Shakespeare’s characters who believe rumours about their beloved just make me crazy. (Movie Trailer)

11. Ran (King Lear) -This Japanese version of King Lear, directed by the acclaimed Akira Kurosawa, has accrued twenty-five different awards. It features three brothers rather than three sisters, but the story of treachery remains the same. Poor Great Lord Hidetora Ichimonji. Sigh. (Movie Trailer) (hold a copy)

12. A Thousand Acres (King Lear) - This one is a bit different from the others, in that technically it is based on Jane Smiley’s book A Thousand Acres. It just happens that the book itself contains themes from King Lear. The three daughters in the book even have the same first initials as Lear’s daughters. (hold a copy)

13. ShakespeaRe-Told: A Midsummer Night’s Dream - This is another of the four updated Shakespearian plays that the BBC did. Set in a theme park called “Dream Park holiday centre,” this version of Midsummer is nonetheless faithful to the original play. Yes, that means that there is still a happy ending. Dean Lennox Kelly plays the mischievous Puck and Imelda Staunton appears as Polly. (The series commercial)

Sources:* The Internet Movie Database
* YouTube

Another weekend gone...

2009-04-05T21:15:00.000+05:30

So it's almost the end of another weekend...this time a Saturday and Sunday (pleased). Much of it was just lazing around, cleaning up, clearing some of the clutter, watching TV (loads of Roadies and Splitsvilla, courtesy Shanks), reading, playing with Naughty and stuff like that. Watched Rachael Getting Married Saturday afternoon...quite a movie I must say!

Sunday was spent in the company of the brother and sister and the dog. We ordered in pizza for lunch...ate, laughed, played UNO or our's Oh-No after ages. Good fun it was.
Also did some MBA and MBA institutes research. This was due for quite sometime now. Realised I need to get things moving fast. December is the second application deadline for ISB. Sigh. Read of lot about what the alumni had to say. Seems like the perfect choice (Right now I'm not thinking about the money part though).

The thought of books, classes, homework, assignments scares the s*** out of me. Will I be able to cope with what a B-school demands of you? What about the competition? Again sleepless nights...sleep deprivation? Will again have to do all that accounting and finance? Will I be able to do it? Will life be any better after an MBA? Well, I guess I'm not the only one trying to answer these quetions. I'm sure many before me have gone through the same feelings and indecisiveness. It's a gut feeling and I have to go with it. Actually, that's always been the idea...to just go wth the flow.

Hmmm...so if all goes well, I should have started with my GMAT prep by next to next week. That reminds me I need to get in touch with a consultant. *Reminder for Monday: Call consultant, fix an appointment*

Another week starts tomorrow. Some reviews will happen. No idea whatsoever. Hope days pass by peacefully. Fingers crossed.

Will have trouble sleeping tonight...I can't adjust my sleep to my shift timings. This whole week I'll be sleep deprived and yawning away to glory throughout the day. Can't sleep before 3am after a week of night shift.

Think Pink, Feel Pink, Be Pink

2009-03-27T00:04:00.003+05:30

For my whole life, I've disliked the colour Pink. Somehow it seemed too girly to me and so just didn't go with what I was (or believed myself to be). I remember how once the whitewash guy had by mistake painted my room pink instead of the colour I had told him to...all hell broke loose. I had to live with it for almost a year. Blue and black were more of my colours. Almost the whole of my wardrobe then had clothes which were either blue or black.

However, to my amazement, within the past few months or so, pink is the colour I feel most drawn to (most shades). Pink jumps at me everywhere! Whether it's clothes, shoes or stationary, I almost always end up picking...no points for guessing...PINK!!! It's as if all that pink stuff calls out to me....pick me, pick me...I'm pink! So, most of my wardrobe is now pink. And I have my eyes on those lovely white ballerinas with pink trimmings that I saw the other day at my favourite shoe shop. I must also tell you that I've been told that pink looks good on me. :)

And that's how I decided to choose a pink template for my blog. My earlier one had a black background. The change reflective of the change in the way I think, the way I feel about things and change in the kind of stuff I'd be putting up on this blog (Debby, I'll try and spare you the emotional atyachaar).

PS: I also love Green...